A conversation between folks waiting for an elevator
….the elevator arrived..
ወንድ 1 ................ቆይ ሰዎቹ ይውረዱ
ወንድ 2 ኧረ ምን እነሱ ብቻ….ሌዲስ ፈርስትም እንጂ (አብራቸው ወዳለችው ሴት እየተመለከተ..)
ሴትዋ ኢትስ ኦኬ ግቡ
ወንድ 1 .. ኖ ኖ ኖ ግቢ ..
ወንድ 2 ..ግቢ ፕሊስ
…………1ኛ…..2ኛ……3ኛ ፍሎር ደረሱ
………elevatoሩ ቆመ በሩ ተከፈተ
……………………………..ወንዶቹ ቀድመው ወረዱ L
Cultural clash at times make society a victim of un and re learning. Even though there is no contradiction in the notion of the subject, the way it is conveyed and expressed is carved by the culture of that society. The difference is prevailingly observed when cultures cross as civilization merges and influences due to many social reasons. Bring this to my topic the notion of respecting women, all human beings in that matter, is positively accepted by any civilized society but the way it is expressed is different in every culture.
As a Diasጶora individual I struggle in this process of unlearning and relearning culture other than my own and “Ladies first” is one.
Although there are many speculations abounding the origin of this tradition the impelled resulting-concept is: Respecting Woman. So knowing this does neither make me feel less respected nor make me evaluate a man’s gentlemanliness with that measure, since this is not a tradition I grew up in. One time, I was coming out of a convenience store and a guy, የእኛ አይነት ሰው የሆነ ሰው in other words originally not from the US or any like culture, coming in the store held the door open for me and said "first ladies!!!.." unfortunately he was standing opposite the side the door opens so I technically had to pass under his stretched arm so that his effort of practicing “Ladies first” doesn’t go to waste . So I learned my lessons and if a guy says “.Ladies first...” or "first ladies!!!.." which ever appeals to him I would ask back “Are you sure?”, because for me the phrase reads not ladies first but safety first or first safety.
I believe that it is not phrase but the thought and the motive that matters, if the ethical idea of respecting others is well internalized then the expression is noticeable not only by the way that person treats others but also by the way she/he carries her/himself. Refining a personality is a change process that keeps getting better and better in time through unlearning wrong traditions and relearning the good once. The learning curve is not linear because not everything we learn is good or everything that we unlearn is bad. So the perfect equilibrium is obtained, if obtained, after many trials and errors since life itself is about the experience. So in the same context if የእኛ አይነት ሰው የሆነ ሰው guy forgets to practice the Ladies first phrase does not make him a coward or lesser of a gentleman so ladies firsቱ ቢኖርም ጥሩ ነው ቢቀርም ምንም አይደለም ዋናው ሴፍቲው ነው.